I'm not sure where I happened upon this book, but I recently picked up The Comeback by Emma Gilbey Keller. I've only made it through the first 11 pages of the introduction, but I already love it. This woman could be reading my mind.
"My work was my world."
Mine too! I was a self proclaimed workaholic and I lived and breathed my job, to the extreme (because of my strengths) but I LOVED work in general. Before we got married I told my husband, that no way in the world would I be a SAHM, some people can hack it - but not me.
The author has the same type of situation, essentially, her husband (by no fault of him and willingly by her) had a career that received priority and essentially caused her to become a SAHM.
"The biggest adjustment women face when they give up work - more even than loosing an income - is that their confidence starts to decline. Being in the outside world, getting paid, and communicating with adults is healthy and energizing. Giving that up is tough on the ego. Some women feel diminished and inadequate. Some get lonely and depressed. They can be very, very busy and very, very bored."BINGO. I couldn't have said it better myself.
I think she highlights two main things about being a SAHM: that it can be mind-numbing and that it effects your self-esteem. There is a strong correlation between the two, being given only menial tasks at work feels like a demotion, and while child-rearing is a very important job, changing diapers and cleaning up puke can be demoralizing.
Eventually, the author gets to a point where her daughter said to her "I go to school. Molly goes to school. Daddy goes to work. And Mommy goes to...gym." And she realized that it was time to go back to her career; which leads to The Comeback, her search for women who "took an extended maternity leave," paused their careers, and successfully returned to them. Something that I dream of doing.
I always wonder if I'm the only woman out there that feels this way, which is why I started this blog. Just reading part of the intro to this book made me feel like there is hope for me, that this is the right decision, and that I will be able to return to an amazing job someday.
P.S. - I want to hear from you! If you are a SAHM - do you feel the same way? If your a career mom - what do you think? Or if your just a woman in general who has been there or may be here someday - thoughts? Advice? Am I all alone out there on this one?